ENG 110 Self Assessment

Framing Statement

Below are mine and one of my peers’ drafts with comments and suggestions. The final draft has comments to highlight the changes made:

Below are different pre-writing segments/paragraphs I used when writing my essay:

Learning Outcomes

  • 1. Writing as a Recursive Process

When writing I find the peer review step to be the most helpful. It provides an opportunity for different perspectives to be discussed in my essay. One suggestion made was to clarify one of the topic sentences in my essay to better connect that paragraph to my thesis. In my essay I say, “Another angle to take on approaching social change is discussed by Kathleen Dean Moore; she elaborates on how people feel as though there is a moral obligation to work together against climate change, an addition that could be enlightening to the climate change movement” which is reworded from the original which states, “however, Kathleen Dean Moore discusses how people feel as though there is a moral obligation to work together against climate change, an addition that could be enlightening to the argument” to make the essay flow and connect better. Another thing I noticed while revising is that I don’t elaborate on my ideas. Before taking this course, peers would tell me I needed to elaborate on my ideas which used to mean “reword to get as many words as possible in a sentence,” a process Nancy Sommers refers to as thesaurus writing. Thesaurus writing creates an issue where “although [students] are using different words, they are sometimes merely restating the same idea with different words” (Sommers). When I say, “in other words, after the movement no longer requires so much effort from the leaders to get people involved, the people can carry on that idea infinitely” I start with a good idea but don’t provide examples or explain it further until my final draft when I say, “when people feel like they are able to solve a big problem on their own they feel empowered. That empowerment is what causes the movement to become self propelling which spreads the idea for change like wildfire” which creates a better image for the reader. 

  • 2. Integrating My Ideas with Those of Others

In order to properly make my argument, I include ideas and quotes from experts to give my reasoning credibility. While explaining how McKibben is on the side of ridding the world of fossil fuels, I elaborate on his point that these industries are not taxed. I said, “McKibben also discusses how fossil fuel industries don’t pay for the carbon emissions they produce (5). To put it simply, your everyday American citizens are paying millions of dollars to pollute the environment, yet the ones creating the pollution don’t pay for anything.” I paraphrase McKibben’s point that the fossil fuel industry doesn’t pay for the emissions and emphasize that by adding that the industry doesn’t but we do. Another way I add in ideas from others is with a Barclay’s paragraph where I’m connecting two different ways of approaching social change to create a strategy most efficient to cause change. My paragraph writes:

“There are several comparisons between Moore and Duhigg’s approaches to climate change and Bill McKibben’s’ that could be the connection needed to achieve change; McKibben sees the importance of humans taking action and how that is critical in determining the outcome of the future. He says, “Very few people on Earth ever get to say, ‘I’m doing the most important thing I can be doing…’ but you guys get to say that…” (14). When McKibben said these words, he amplified the idea that everybody can get behind the fight that he is presenting us with. Though some may argue that civil disobedience isn’t morally correct, McKibben explains how the fossil fuel industry is causing the environment detrimental harm with no tax tacked on to the back of it (5) which is not morally correct. With regard to climate change, Moore, Duhigg, and McKibben believe that this is the most crucial point in time to get involved in the movement and that, if we use our moral obligations to fight against what isn’t right, we could potentially improve the outcome of the future.”

All three experts have varying ways to approach the issue, but I connect them together to give a new perspective.

  • 4. Critiquing My Own and Others’ Work

Just as I find it helpful when others read and make suggestions on my essays, editing others papers and getting a sense of their take can be eye-opening, or at the very least thought provoking. It also helps me notice patterns in their writing that I also do in my writing but haven’t noticed before. When going through and editing a peers draft I don’t look for local mistakes first, I look for global areas that can be further developed. While reviewing a peers’ essay, I commented on a sentence he wrote that said, “He spoke about how this year was the first fire season ever and most of it is federally declared drought” which is summarizing a quote from Bill McKibben. To give some suggestions in the ideas category, I said, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about here: where were the fires? if you’re implying that climate change caused fires and droughts it should be stated clearly. Instead of summarizing the quote introduce it by giving more context around it” which gives my peer an idea for development, that idea being to explain what is going on in the outside world (climate change) leading up to the fires. I feel like I offered a wide variety of suggestions in terms of local versus global. For local suggestions, some included fixing comma splices like I did when he says, “He spoke about how this year was the first  fire season ever and most of it is federally declared a drought” by adding a comma between “ever” and “and.” When I commented, “your quotes are good but you don’t connect them to your thesis. if you’re not sure how to analyze I always just answer these questions and then incorporate my answers into the essay: does it support my thesis and how? how does that connect to the real world” I was suggesting some global edits he could make to better incorporate his selected quotes into his argument. Although his quotes fit well to support his thesis, he doesn’t explicitly connect them to his thesis, only implies that they connect.

  • 5. & 6. Using MLA Citation and Managing Individual Error Patterns

Throughout this course I have learned a lot about correctly citing sources. Before taking this class, I was never taught how to properly use in text citations. Not only do I know how to properly use quotations, but I am also able to add in longer pieces of evidence I couldn’t reference before. When I say, “he says, “very few people on Earth ever get to say, ‘I’m doing the most important thing I can be doing…’ but you guys get to say that…” (14). When McKibben said these words, he amplified the idea that everybody can get behind the fight that he is presenting us with. Though some may argue that civil disobedience isn’t morally correct, McKibben explains how the fossil fuel industry is causing the environment detrimental harm with no tax tacked on to the back of it (5) which is not morally correct” I am both quoting directly from the source and paraphrasing a larger idea in order to put emphasis on my point. In addition to learning about properly citing our sources, I also learned a great deal about grammar which can also be an issue when citing. When providing a quote in writing you have to make sure there is a signal phrase followed by a comma, the quote, and the page number or time in the movie. While editing I caught a missing comma and I said, “Duhigg says, “A movement starts because of the social habits of friendship and the strong ties between close acquaintances” (87)” which did not have a comma before the quote in my first draft. After taking this course, I feel as though I can take all of these skills that I have learned and apply them to all styles of writing, whether it be creative or academic.