Essay 1: I would edit the beginning of my essay more to help set up the argument/point of my essay and make my thesis much clearer. I don’t feel as though I have made any strong connections related to Hallward or Epstein’s ideas in the piece. Every time I add a quote into my writing, the introduction and analysis of the quote follows a similar template of analyzing the general idea but not the quote specifically. Both the first and final draft of this essay did not have any kind of citation after the quotes. The first time we peer edited I first went through to look for places to make the authors ideas clearer by adding examples, quotes, statistics, etc. and to also build on the authors credibility. I then went through suggesting local edits with punctuation, grammar, etc.
Essay 2: In my first draft, I made comments about edits I know I needed to make, such as deciding which of the italicized words actually needed to be emphasized. My peers also left their suggestions on this draft, which I then used in combination with my own to edit it. In my final draft, I’ve highlighted the changes I made from the first draft. Most of the changes made were local, such as grammar and proper MLA citation, while the other changes fixed the wording of some sentences for clarity. Although they added clarity, I wouldn’t say they added substance; in other words they didn’t contribute to improving my argument. I would go through and analyze the quotes more closely and make stronger connections between them. Below are my co
